
In a shocking and unprecedented mid-offseason move, the Los Angeles Lakers have announced that superstar LeBron James will officially serve as the team’s Director of Player Performance and Health, while still playing for the franchise.
The announcement came in a brief, dramatic press conference where new Lakers Head Coach JJ Redick, flanked by his family and prominent NBA figures, unveiled what many are calling “The King’s Final Form.”
“He’s been calling plays, managing minutes, coordinating recovery schedules — we figured, why not just give him the job?” Redick said with a grin. “No one knows more about keeping a 40-year-old body elite than LeBron.”
Double Duty for The King
According to team sources, LeBron will now oversee everything from sleep tracking and nutrition plans to muscle recovery techniques and cryotherapy schedules — even selecting the post-game smoothies.
When asked if the dual role would be too much to handle, LeBron laughed, sipping from a green kale-infused electrolyte blend.
“I already manage my body better than NASA handles satellites,” James said. “Might as well do it for the squad.”
NBA Community Reacts
The NBA world responded in dramatic fashion:
- Chris Paul, newly retired, joked: “I asked LeBron for advice on post-retirement fitness, and now he’s my boss?”
- Stephen A. Smith exploded on national TV: “HE’S PLAYING! AND HE’S DIRECTING! THIS IS UNHEARD OF!”
Even Commissioner Adam Silver weighed in: “Technically, it’s legal… I think.”
JJ Redick’s Family Approves
In a heartwarming subplot, Coach JJ Redick’s family joined the press conference to voice their support.
“LeBron is basically family now,” said Redick’s 7-year-old son. “He showed me how to foam roll and everything.”
What’s Next?
Rumors are swirling that LeBron might soon take over other departments, including:
- Director of Locker Room Music
- Senior VP of Wine Selection
- Interim Head of Social Media Shade Detection
Final Word
With the Lakers reloading for another title run, giving LeBron full control of performance and health may just be the next step in NBA evolution — or at least in LeBron’s lifelong mission to turn time itself into a defeated opponent.